Real Accountability. Real Change.
After Infidelity:
A Group for Those Who Have Been Unfaithful
This is a space to look honestly at what you did, understand how you got there, and do the work of becoming someone you can trust again. No excuses, and no piling on shame that goes nowhere.
Most people arrive carrying guilt, regret, and a fair amount of confusion about how they became a person capable of infidelity. Some are trying to save a relationship. Some are trying to understand themselves no matter what happens to the relationship. The work ends up being the same either way.
Sessions are guided by a therapist and shaped by what members bring into the room, so the work reflects what you’re actually experiencing in the here and now.
You did something that hurt someone you care about. That is true, and it is also true that people can change.
You will not be told you are a bad person here, and you will not be allowed to slide past it either. This is a space to take real responsibility, get honest about the patterns that led you here, and start building something you do not have to hide.
A lot of people come in stuck. Too much shame to face their partner’s pain, too much defensiveness to face their own. If that is where you are, and you want to move out of it, you do not have to do it by yourself.
we'LL focus on real-life issues, including:
Separating accountability from shame:
You’ll tell the honest story of what happened and its impact. Accountability gives you somewhere to go. Shame just keeps you frozen, and being frozen doesn’t help you move forward.
Understanding what was underneath your choices:
You’ll look at what was going on for you, the vulnerabilities and the unspoken parts that played into the infidelity, so the insight turns into something you can actually use.
Handling hard emotions instead of acting on them:
Guilt, loneliness, resentment, anxiety. You’ll learn to sit with these instead of reaching for the impulsive or avoidant behaviors that caused harm in the first place.
Rebuilding trust through empathy and transparency:
You’ll look at the damage your actions did, and how trust actually gets rebuilt. It’s slow, it runs on consistency and transparency, and it asks you to stay present with someone else’s pain.
The DETAILS:
- When: Tuesdays at 6:00-7:30 pm EST
- Where: Virtual (open to clients located in New York)
- Investment: $60 per session if paid in full ($360 total) or $65 per session if paid weekly. Limited reduced-fee spots are available for those for whom the cost is inaccessible.
- Duration: 6 weeks
- Facilitator: Zaray Dratch, MFT-LP P140259, Supervised by Lauren Consul, LMFT 002537 (NY)
Supervised by Lauren Consul, LMFT #87205
Books for Anyone Wanting to Navigate The Aftermath of Infidelity
After years of leading groups, there are two things that I’ve come to observe that are certain when you get a group of initial strangers together. First, no two groups are the same. Secondly, the most successful groups are the ones where the members come prepared and with intent.
These are just a few books that might improve your experience within a support group. If you don’t have time to read, most of these books come in audiobook form. You can always try Audible Plus or Audible Premium Plus for FREE
The links below will redirect you to Amazon.com. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn commissions from qualifying purchases from Amazon.com.
by Bonnie Eaker Weil
A very specific look into on of the main reasons that break couple apart. A different kind of infidelity, but infidelity nonetheless. If this topic makes you uncomfortable, then it may be exactly what you need to read.
by Michele Weiner-Davis
The daily journey of healing begins with you. But when you are overwhelmed by the result of infidelity, how do you start? With the little things and a plan.
by Esther Perel
This book is a little controversial. Whether you agree with it or not, if your goal is to understand how someone else might be thinking, especially on the subject of an affair, then you could do a lot worse.
by Christie Tate
If you’ve ever been curious about what goes on in group therapy and what someone’s experience with it might have been, then this is the perfect read for you.
by Dr. Dan Ariely
Not your typical self help book, but if you interested in learning from a behavioral economist point of view about the reasons why we lie, then you’ll enjoy this read.
by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, and Emily Gregory
This book is great for those who want very specific techniques on how to approach or respond to difficult conversations in all areas of their lives.
